Kin-diddley-indle

I am very happy that I got this device. I mowed through my annual reading of Lord of the Rings in record time (i don't think I've ever finished in February before) and I just started The Hunger Games. Hopefully it won't suck.

Why ain't you quacking?!?

One of the 6million reasons I love my job. Geese and ducks roam the lands in search of fun & bread.

Welcome to Costco... I love you.

Today I bought a bulk pack of 24 razors. As those of you that work with me know, I'm not the most diligent shaver. This should be good for about 6 months.

Testing.

I'm just testing this blogger app for the iPhone. Don't get your panties in a bunch.

I'd make a crappy vampire

This is my new bowling ball. I meant to post this picture a few weeks ago when I bought the ball, but I'm lazy and my "daily" picture has since become an "every few months" picture.

Anyhoo, the bowling ball has nothing to do with my day, it's just the last picture that I took and I figured I'd share it while telling you fine people about the adventure that occurred in McDonaldland today. Notice how I blacked out the tooth that dental insiders call "number 7." This will be woven into the story later.

This morning Jo and Liz (and about 10,000 other people) ran in the Anthem 5k. Jo and Liz each broke their own personal best records so we went to the Fleur de Lis Cafe on Bardstown Rd to have breakfast and celebrate. I ordered the "Farmhouse Breakfast" which was a bone-in ham steak with bacon and eggs. The ham had a layer of cracklin around the edge from the cooking process, which was crunchy yet very delicious. I was pondering how good this crunchy stuff was when I felt something solid in the mix of the mass I was swallowing. A quick flick with tounge led me to discover that MY ENTIRE GOD DAMNED FRONT TOOTH WAS BROKEN OFF AT THE GUM LINE. Obviously this was distressing, but did it stop be from finishing my breakfast? I'm a McDonald, hell no.

After breakfast I called my dentist's emergency number and after a short time he called back (we befriend everyone in our lives, including our dentist, so I used facebook to ask his sister for a little special treatment in contacting him) and we arranged to meet at his dental office later in the evening. It was really weird to be there after hours. All of the lights were out and it was just me and him. He kept having to switch back and forth between the drill and the suction and getting up to get something else he forgot when laying out his tools. This is what happens when you don't have assistants there. He was also in a t shirt and jeans while he worked on me. It was a bit surreal.

This tooth has been a problem child for a very long time. Those of you that knew me before I started working at Bellsouth and finally got it fixed with my new fancy pants dental insurance will remember that it used to be in an hourglass shape because it was so disgustingly rotted away. Last year I chipped it when I slipped down the stairs and later sneezed half of it off while at work. When I got to Dr. Hurm's office later that day, we discovered that it was basically rotten on the inside and needed a root canal that very second. After today, when he miraculously created a tooth for me by drilling a thick post into what was left and slowly building a tooth around it he said "I can tell by talking to you that you're just sick of this tooth" and told me about getting dental implants and we set out a plan to do just that. I'm going to see him on Monday after I get off of work and we're going to form a game plan based on what we can afford and however much my insurance will pay. I'll of course keep you updated. I really, really like our dentist.

You look like 1/2 a butt puppet.

You know what they used to call me back in my schoolin' days? They called me "Jimmy Touchdown!"

And by "Jimmy Touchdown" I of course mean "James only comes on the field when we're punting or kicking a field goal."

My supervisor at work bought me this old-timey helmet thing. I feel bad because I didn't get him anything, but I did offer to buy him lunch. I also pointed out to him that the Chargers didn't exist when these helmets were still being used & he said historical accuracy would have cost extra.

I look like a banker in this.........

That's right kids! One of the finest movies FILMS ever made is now available on Blu Ray! It's a fine story of love, betrayal, and the fact that men can be motivated to accomplish great things by the possibility of seeing a chick naked.

And, unlike the movie I saw today, noone cuts their own arm off.

Fun note, if you ever watch Major League with me or my little brother, you will be annoyed to no end because we both have the script memorized. We had very little to do as children.

In 10 More Years You'll Get TP!

Today Jo and I went to Feeder's Supply Store to have Dot's picture taken with Santa (yes, we're dorks... and I'll bet you can guess what tomorrows picture will be!) and we decided to take her for a walk while we were waiting for the picture to print out. While wandering around we ran across this red outhouse. Nothing out of the ordinary huh? Maybe you should take a closer look at that sign.



Some people get a gold watch for staying with a company for 40 years. Apparently this person's loyalty has earned them their own outhouse. If UPS offered perks like this I believe our turnover percentage would drop like a rock.

I will taste blood........

This is Tracy's cat, Beatrice. I like to think her eyes are glowing with anger because she has to wear a sweater.

That's a shitload of tape!

Guess what I spent 2 hours doing? That's right! Sleeping!

We got presents for some of you people, but you may be wondering what would be a good present to get me. Well I'll tell you...........

Money.

As I told you last year (and you didn't listen) I think the most personal, thoughtful gift a person can get me is a gift card to either Target or Kroger or any of the places that we shop on a regular basis. I have a goal of replacing my PS3, which fried earlier this year, and if everyone gave me a gift card (or cash in an envelope, like the mob) that would make that goal easier because I could use the money that we would have used for groceries, clothing, etc on buying back my magical black box.

Only one or two of you listened to me last year. I'm very disappointed in the rest of you.