You look like 1/2 a butt puppet.

You know what they used to call me back in my schoolin' days? They called me "Jimmy Touchdown!"

And by "Jimmy Touchdown" I of course mean "James only comes on the field when we're punting or kicking a field goal."

My supervisor at work bought me this old-timey helmet thing. I feel bad because I didn't get him anything, but I did offer to buy him lunch. I also pointed out to him that the Chargers didn't exist when these helmets were still being used & he said historical accuracy would have cost extra.

I look like a banker in this.........

That's right kids! One of the finest movies FILMS ever made is now available on Blu Ray! It's a fine story of love, betrayal, and the fact that men can be motivated to accomplish great things by the possibility of seeing a chick naked.

And, unlike the movie I saw today, noone cuts their own arm off.

Fun note, if you ever watch Major League with me or my little brother, you will be annoyed to no end because we both have the script memorized. We had very little to do as children.

In 10 More Years You'll Get TP!

Today Jo and I went to Feeder's Supply Store to have Dot's picture taken with Santa (yes, we're dorks... and I'll bet you can guess what tomorrows picture will be!) and we decided to take her for a walk while we were waiting for the picture to print out. While wandering around we ran across this red outhouse. Nothing out of the ordinary huh? Maybe you should take a closer look at that sign.



Some people get a gold watch for staying with a company for 40 years. Apparently this person's loyalty has earned them their own outhouse. If UPS offered perks like this I believe our turnover percentage would drop like a rock.

I will taste blood........

This is Tracy's cat, Beatrice. I like to think her eyes are glowing with anger because she has to wear a sweater.

That's a shitload of tape!

Guess what I spent 2 hours doing? That's right! Sleeping!

We got presents for some of you people, but you may be wondering what would be a good present to get me. Well I'll tell you...........

Money.

As I told you last year (and you didn't listen) I think the most personal, thoughtful gift a person can get me is a gift card to either Target or Kroger or any of the places that we shop on a regular basis. I have a goal of replacing my PS3, which fried earlier this year, and if everyone gave me a gift card (or cash in an envelope, like the mob) that would make that goal easier because I could use the money that we would have used for groceries, clothing, etc on buying back my magical black box.

Only one or two of you listened to me last year. I'm very disappointed in the rest of you.