Abcess Schmabcess!!

Guess who got a root canal today? Go on.... guess...


Give up? It was me!!

Woot!

"James! Where have you been!?!?! It's been almost a week!!"

Shut the hell up, Internet. I'm on vacation so you're lucky I'm posting anything at all!!

This was taken at the home of my mother from another mother, Shmoozy Suzy the Floozy. As is our wont on Christmas, we exchanged presents at her place & used her as a hotel service so we wouldn't have to drive home at 1 in the morning. It was quite fun.

This has been a good Christmas time. I got a fake sword, book about the cold (rather obscure, I know) some balls made into funny faces, a backwards clock, and several other things that I can't remember right now. We also took yet another group picture, which I have made into a compilation below.



We are awesome, aren't we?

You are jealous.

This (so far) is the coolest thing that anyone has gotten me for Christmas this year. I plan on hanging it near the bedroom door to ward off demons & for ease of access when the time comes to protect my household.

"James, I can't think of a more awesome present than your foam 2 handed broadsword..... how can anyone top this?"

Very easy, Internet. Gift cards and/or cash to help us with our trip to Zurich. Why no one is adhering to this request that I made weeks ago, I will never know.

Don we now our gay apparel!

...and it doesn't get much gayer than this!! Off to the Christmas Sweater party!

Brush and floss!!

"James, you look like some kind of super villain!!"

Thanks, Internet! I feel like a super villain!

Oral hygiene is very important. Once again I wish I could go back to 16 to 19 year old James and beat the living hell out of him for neglecting it. It turns out I need more work done. Not nearly as much as I needed in the past, but enough that it will take him about an hour to get it all done.

Stupid teeth.

Cup o' Jo

Today was our weekly cookie date. This picture was from last weeks cookie date, but I didn't use it then because I wanted to use the picture of Jo hugging Whitney because it's cute.

Today was surprisingly busy for me at work. Normally stuff in my department starts to slow down this time of year, but for some reason I was being handed things to do left and right today. Hopefully these people will be around on Christmas Eve when I work 1/2 a day, but since that 1/2 of a day will be from 6am to around 10am i would think not.

BTW, Jo and I now have are passports & are free to move about the planet. In April we'll invade Switzerland in what should be a bloodless takeover. All those people have to defend themselves with are army knives, cheese, and chocolate.

Dustin robs people.

This sign is outside of a Subway (the sandwich place, we don't have a system of underground trains in Louisville) that obviously doesn't want to get robbed. I wonder if these signs do any good, I doubt most people that are desperate enough to knock over a store would be deterred in any way by a sign outside the front door.

I can only imagine the confused look on the cashiers face as 2 or 3 young hooligans come running up to the door in ski masks holding guns only to watch them stop at the door, read the sign, talk amongst themselves, then turn and walk away.

BTW, I may have altered this picture slightly for comedic effect.

Blew (I'm witty.)

This is what happens to Jo when she eats cake with blue icing.

Today we exposed Derek and Lindsey to Robot Chicken's Star Wars specials. Hilarity ensued & a good time was had by all. Derek rewarded us for the laughs with cookies. Then we went back to their place and I tried to explain the game of American Football to them. It was not successful.

Once again, I sit alone in my sobriety.

Eventful day kids! I did laundry, we cleaned the house, we bought and art, then we went to dinner with Cheryl & Sylvester Stallone.

The night was wrapped up with everyone (but me) drinking wine while we watched Robot Chicken & House Hunters at our place.

Good times!

Turkey lurkey doo

This is a Tofurky Beer brat. As a person that eats a lot of tofu and eats a lot of bratwurst, I give it a 7. They taste quite good; but they are almost, but not quite, completely unlike bratwurst.

I wish that that tofurky & like minded companies would stop saying that they products taste like, or are in any way similar to well known meat products. As I said before, I do eat quite a bit of tofu & this claim never fails to disappoint. I have never, ever eaten a meat substitute that tastes anything like the meat that it is supposed to resemble. Most of the time they're good, something that I would eat anyway, just don't call it something that it in no way approximates. This stuff is shaped like bratwurst & roughly the same color, that's it.

How long can I make this title? Can I just keep typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and typing and ty

Whitney was complaining that she was cold, Jo offered to keep her warm with love. This is not fair, when I offered to "keep her warm with love," she slapped me.

Today was the weekly cookie date. I find it amusing that we still call it that even though neither of us eats the cookies anymore. I had a carrot cake and Jo didn't eat anything. We both had drinks though.

Speaking of people who drink a lot, Whitney and Ross joined us. The 4 of us went to see Abby at her place of work and a good time was had by all. Afterward we went to Rainbow Blossom for groceries then we parted ways. All in all a good day.

This may not be worth mentioning, but this is my 600th picture of the day. Good for me. If I never skipped days, I may be up to 700 or 800 but I'm not about to go shoulding all over myself.

And 65 year old joke in 5...4....3....2......

It's bean soup.... well what is it now!?!!?

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAA.

Jo and I finally finished our damn Christmas shopping. Everything is now wrapped & stowed nicely underneath the damn tree. Hopefully soon (I'd say around the 25th.....) Jo and I will be able to take a little trip and give most of you all this crap we bought and wrapped up.

Just in case you were curious, the last person to have their name crossed off of the list was Ross Boswell.

Congratulations Ross, not that it affected the value of your present in any way, just an interesting piece of trivia.

Once again I phone the daily picture in..

Yes.... I do keep a Nintendo 64 under my desk.... I understand if you are jealous.

My desk at home is much better than my desk at work. Not only do I get to watch TV and play on the computer at the same time at home, the desk at home doesn't wear holes in the elbows of all of my jackets. I can not express with words how frustrating that is. I buy a new jacket or hoodie & the elbow develops a small hole within 2 months. Should I just start wearing an elbow pad to work to avoid this? Does anyone else have this problem?

The Arizona Cardinals look like walking ketchup bottles today

This is Lindsey and Maryellen doing yoga, they kept going for a while despite all the rocks and wads of paper that I hit them with.

Yes, Internet, I know I didn't post anything Friday or Saturday, but I didn't really do anything worth writing about. We did go to a Christmas party for Jo's studio & I got a metric ton of bubble gum. I'm not sure what I'm going to do with it. I can't keep it here because I'll chew it all over the course of a few days and what is left of my teeth will rot out of my head. I may take it to work and give 100 pieces to everyone I work with and that should get rid of a bout half of it. The rest I can give to someone in the warehouse to use as packing material.

Fun quote from this weekend:

"Why would I put pants on if I'm not planning on going out of doors?"

We've averaged 1/730th of a robbery every day!

"James... why do we have to look at your house? Noone cares about your house"

Well, Internet, I hope noone cares about your lip either, because it is going to be swollen and bleeding after I kick you in the face.

Today marks 2 years that Jo and I have called this rectangle our home. Yes, we did go to Lynns & yes, I did attempt to walk there in my slippers. I put them on when I got home and forgot that I had them on until we were on the back patio on our way out. I came back in to change into normal shoes, then decided to just wear the slippers. I informed Jo of this decision & she informed me that this is not possible.

Then I sat next to seeing eye bitch.

References to movies are fun!

Super King

Some of you have presents under this tree...... most of you don't. We are a cruel, cruel people.

I crossed my eyes at work today in an impromptu display of hilarity and now i have a headache. I just thought I would share that with you all, as a warning. I made the face for quite a while, but it did not stick that way, which leads me to believe that my mom is full of crap!

Let the possum work it's magic......

Treadmill walking........ you're doing it wrong.....

Yes the picture is blurry, but I only had a second to take it.

I do not get to go see the Chargers play the Browns this Sunday. This makes me angry.