You look like 1/2 a butt puppet.

You know what they used to call me back in my schoolin' days? They called me "Jimmy Touchdown!"

And by "Jimmy Touchdown" I of course mean "James only comes on the field when we're punting or kicking a field goal."

My supervisor at work bought me this old-timey helmet thing. I feel bad because I didn't get him anything, but I did offer to buy him lunch. I also pointed out to him that the Chargers didn't exist when these helmets were still being used & he said historical accuracy would have cost extra.

I look like a banker in this.........

That's right kids! One of the finest movies FILMS ever made is now available on Blu Ray! It's a fine story of love, betrayal, and the fact that men can be motivated to accomplish great things by the possibility of seeing a chick naked.

And, unlike the movie I saw today, noone cuts their own arm off.

Fun note, if you ever watch Major League with me or my little brother, you will be annoyed to no end because we both have the script memorized. We had very little to do as children.

In 10 More Years You'll Get TP!

Today Jo and I went to Feeder's Supply Store to have Dot's picture taken with Santa (yes, we're dorks... and I'll bet you can guess what tomorrows picture will be!) and we decided to take her for a walk while we were waiting for the picture to print out. While wandering around we ran across this red outhouse. Nothing out of the ordinary huh? Maybe you should take a closer look at that sign.



Some people get a gold watch for staying with a company for 40 years. Apparently this person's loyalty has earned them their own outhouse. If UPS offered perks like this I believe our turnover percentage would drop like a rock.

I will taste blood........

This is Tracy's cat, Beatrice. I like to think her eyes are glowing with anger because she has to wear a sweater.

That's a shitload of tape!

Guess what I spent 2 hours doing? That's right! Sleeping!

We got presents for some of you people, but you may be wondering what would be a good present to get me. Well I'll tell you...........

Money.

As I told you last year (and you didn't listen) I think the most personal, thoughtful gift a person can get me is a gift card to either Target or Kroger or any of the places that we shop on a regular basis. I have a goal of replacing my PS3, which fried earlier this year, and if everyone gave me a gift card (or cash in an envelope, like the mob) that would make that goal easier because I could use the money that we would have used for groceries, clothing, etc on buying back my magical black box.

Only one or two of you listened to me last year. I'm very disappointed in the rest of you.

Monsters live out there....

This is Doe Valley Lake, Jo's boss lives and grew up here. He spent his entire childhood basically living at summer camp. I spent a great deal of mine going to the beach and getting beaten up by mexicans.

Not really.

Today was fun, we went on a boat ride, I took a bunch of pictures that I will probably post later, I got to watch the tuna sandwiches go rancid, and I crashed pontoon into the beach. Good times.

Tomorrow is going to suck. My car is in the shop so I have to steal Jo's, which means I have to wake up super early so I can drop her off at the studio (20 miles) then drive to work (25 miles) then drive to the hotel that we're conducting orientation in and back (maybe 4 miles total) then back to the studio after work (25 miles) then back home (another 20 miles.) That's almost 90 miles out of my way that I have to drive tomorrow just because I need a new muffler. Boo!

Actually, there are multiple days each week that Jo has to drive that far for her job, so I can't really complain too much. Plus my car is a '98 with almost 200k miles on it and it's never really needed major work, so again I am fortunate.

Where the hell is Benito!?!?!

When we were kids, we used to pay $5 to go see the Padres.

Yesterday UPS basically paid me $120 & bought me a bunch of free food to go to a Louisville Bats game. Did I mention that I love my job? Because I do.

We went to orientation today for our puppy manners class. Judging by the description of what the trainer lady (no Whitney, it isn't Ursa) we're dealing with much less than what the typical puppy owner is dealing with. I knew that Dot was smart.

Speaking of orientation, my dear dear dear dear dear dear dear dear friend Dustin will be coming to UPS orientation on Monday. He'll get to see me in a professional capacity and be all like "Damn! James is far more awesome that I previously knew!"

I'm sleepy and going to bed now. Sorry my day wasn't more eventful.

EAT AN ORANGE!!

Whole wheat Matzo Balls? Oh no.... THE HIPPIES HAVE GOTTEN TO THE JEWS!!! Curse you dirt-twirling stink piles!! Is nothing sacred to you!?!?

I kid, I kid.

Our dear friends Allison and Josh graced us with their company today. They made the long trip from Cincinnati just to pet our dog, which confused me because surely there are other dogs in Cincy. Actually, they have a dog. That's part of the reson they came, to compare. Things did get a little touchy when I held Josh down by the head yelling 'SAY IT!! SAY OUR DOG IS BETTER!!!" but luckily no blood was shed. We went to Cafe Mimosa and I had some dish that involves tofu, black beans, and a ton of vegetables. I love this meal, but I keep forgetting that Mimosa's chopsticks suck. They're made of a very glossy plastic and you can't really pick anything up. I looked a fool.

Some of the things in that last paragraph didn't happen.

Just so you guys know, the last time I posted for 4 days in a row was December 14-17 of last year. You're welcome. I do feel a little bad that I keep taking pictures and saying (at least to myself) "This will be a good picure-of-the-day!" when in reality I haven't had a picture of the day in over a year. At least not regularly.

Sometimes Jo goes to work and leaves me alone with the dog.

I was trying to do "Blue Steel" but sometimes my camera doesn't take the picture when I think it's going to. I would have tried it again, but as you can see Dot is leaving my lap.

So this is what you get, me taking a picture a 13 year old girl on myspace would take.

The band is almost back together (looking at you Ms. Reeves.) My dear friend Dustin moved to Louisville. This is a good thing. He also grossly over dressed for his job interview. Normally people come to us in tank tops and flip flops & covered in "F the police" tattoos. He wore a shirt & tie with "Hug the police" tattoos.

No, YOU SUCK!!

The weather man on TV says "Severe storm's a'comin!!"

I hope he's right, because if he's wrong then those aliens from ID4 are about to kick the crap out of the Greater Louisville Metropolitan Area.

He was right! As I type this it started pouring.

I'm going to watch the next (and possibly next 2) game of the NBA finals. I don't care about basketball at all, but I feel an obligation to watch championship games. Maybe it's the desire to see grown men cry, but I can use a bat and get the same outcome.