splish spalsh

We went to see the Derby City Roller Girls tonight. I've never been to a roller derby before and found the funny names that the ladies took for themselves quite amusing. The one above (for obvious reasons) was my favorite by a landslide.

I also didn't know the rules, but I had someone sitting next to me until I got the hang of it.

"James, why were you at the roller derby?"

Well, Internet, it was our dear friend Mark Price's birthday & this was part of the festivities. Jo and Tracy seemed to instantly become roller derby groupies so we may be going back. Plus, it turns out Jo knows people on the team and I work with someone on the team and didn't even know it. Good times overall.

I'm very glad the Tsunami Gods aren't assholes. My good friends Mark and Rachel, who live in Hawaii, were not washed out to sea and this is a great thing. I've known Rachel far longer than I've known any of you people & I care for them a great deal.

The spellcheck program doesn't recognize the word "texted."

"James, no one cares about your treadmill..."

Kiss my ass, Internet! I busted my butt to disassemble, move, and reassemble that thing! I had no help from anyone, especially not from Adam Jones who did nothing to help me at all.

Not the guitarist from Tool, a different Adam Jones. Just in case you were wondering.......

Anyhoo, I moved the CD towers and the treadmill into the guest room because Jo wants her reading nook back and I would like to be able to watch TV while I'm on the treadmill. It works out for both of us. What stunk is how frustrating it was to move that damn thing.

I removed the 2 posts and console as one large piece, only to discover that I had to remove the posts from the console to be able to unhook the line that connects the controls on the console to the motor in the main unit. So I took of the left post (the one with the wire) and unhooked the wire, laying aside the console (right post still attached) and put the left post in the guest room. When I tried to move the console/right post mass I discovered that the giant L shape could not fit through our bedroom door. I twisted it and turned it for about 10 minutes trying to avoid the inevitable, taking off the right post. I finally broke down and removed the right post & took it and the console into the guest room and threw them on the pile. This is where the fun really started.

The main unit is huge (that's what she said) and very heavy. The frame is made of some welded metal & it also had the motor and 2 heavy rollers on it. I would guess the weight to be more than a duck, but less than a cow. There was no way that I could lift it myself. I tried sliding it, but the end with the motor made it far too difficult to maneuver without risk of flinging it down the stairs and through our kitchen wall onto Barret Ave. I had to call for backup. Jo tried to help ( I would have called Derek, but Jo can physically immobilize Derek into a whimpering, woman like ball of tears) but the machine was too heavy. I called Gerry, but he hasn't embraced the idea of a "normal person" cell phone so he didn't answer. I texted Adam and he said "No!" but came around with threats of violence against his mother. When he got here it only took us 10 minutes to move it from our bedroom to the guest room. Using our superior knowledge of leverage and our manly physical strength, we won the day.

After a quick trip to visit the Harris' I came home and put the whole thing back together. Tomorrow I shall watch the entertaining stylings of Mr. Tony Kornheiser while I play on my treadmill, which unlike everything else in my life I have yet to name. I was thinking "Poor Person" since I step on it to reach my goals.

NEIN!!!

This is my wife just before we snuck her back into the country..... long story..

Today was our 9th anniversary. That's right, 9 long years since we decided not to have a wedding and asked Lindsey and Matt to be witnesses and they said no. 9 years since Jo and I (along with my mom and brother) went to the Justice of the Peace's house and were wed in his den filled with creepy stuffed animals. Good times!

We got to hang out all day today. We had a good lunch and went to see "An Education," which was better than I expected..... but I wont bore you with that. What I will bore you with is the adventure that we had at dinner. I don't know if any of you have ever eaten at La Catalara, but if you haven't, DON'T!

We should have known it would be a trainwreck when the waiter asked us if we had reservations, then repeated himself. Normally this wouldn't be cause for concern, but the place was only 1/2 full and he proceeded to seat us immediately. This is the same waiter that we saw get into a heated argument behind the kitchen door and someone in the kitchen shoved him hard, he wasn't our waiter though. We were waited on by a very small, mousy girl with one of those candy cane shaped spines that Jo hates so much. She seemed to speak English, but that was about the extent of her competence.

The whole meal gave me flashbacks to an episode of Frasier that I saw that went back to when Niles and Frasier were eating as small children and Niles said "This meal is a culinary Hindenburg!"

We placed our order for an appetizer and two entrees. We never got the appetizer and they brought my food out about 20 minutes before they brought Jo's out. Jo was OK, she snacked on my potatoes while we waited for her paella. I was going to ask for ketchup for my potatoes, but I was afraid they would bring me a tomato in a glass jar and ask me if I had a hammer out in our car.

The food wasn't bad, but the wait staff gave me the impression that they just opened a minute before we got there and the current customers were the only customers these people had ever waited on.

After we finished eating, we asked for the check & they brought it to us. Jo put her card in the little slot and stood it up and we proceeded to watch our waitress walk by our table many times looking directly at the debit card but not picking it up. This started to get frustrating because there was a scantily clad belly dancer and I didn't have any $1's. As we walked out wanted to yell "RUN!!" at the people coming in, but we didn't. We had pie waiting for us.

Now were home, watching Holmes on Homes.

Tomorrow is the Super Bowl. I want the Saints to win because I still like Drew Brees, but Im sure the Colts will win because Peyton Manning is like a damn robot who never ever screws up at anything.

Hooray for boobies!!

Yesterday Tracy moved into her new apartment & I got to help her move. It was quite the adventure.

They got a uhaul truck, which I had to back up to the edge of the porch so we could stand on top of it and take all the heavy crap down by stacking it on the back of the truck, then lowering it onto the ground. We got the truck loaded up, drove the 2 blocks to her new place & started to unload.

We hit a brick wall when it came to the couch in the picture. We took the cushions off, dragged it up the stairs, and discovered that it was WAY to big to fit in her front door. Try as we all did, we just couldn't find a way to twist it into the very small doorway. After a quick chat it was decided that we would take Tracys old couch and trade it for Steve & Michelles couch, which is smaller.

Steve and I switched the couches out of the truck & came back for attempt #2. Unfortunately we ran into the same problem. We got it up the front stairs & it was just big enough to give us hope that we could get it in without actually being able to fit it through the door. In great frustration we tried the back door, which was a huge pain in the ass due to the shape of the back stairwell. Again, no dice. We even took the back door off the hinges, but it was still about 6 inches too big in all directions to work. So, defeated, we took the couch back downstairs and ultimately back to Steves place.

So basically, in order for Tracy to end up with no couch at all, we had to drag 2 different couches up and down stairs 3 times. By the end of the move I had no grip left in my hands & was reduced to wedging my arm into various parts of the couch to hold it up. My legs are sore as hell, my hands tingled the rest of the day, and even seeing Tracys very embarrassed new neighbors doing the filthy through their back window (which they in no way tried to block with curtains or shades) didn't help.

After all the fun, we went out to eat, then to Jo's sisters place where we watched the Colts/Raves game and I almost got to see boobs.

All in all a very good day.

Jo and I went playing about in the snow today. Dog Hill is still covered in several inches of snow so we took these plastic dish things and slid down it over and over again. The major drawback was after sliding down the hill, we had to walk back up it. I was falling over and vomiting after about 5 trips.

Granted, I was wearing tights, pants, 3 shirts, my hoodie, and my pea coat. Moving in general was an adventure! The best part of sledding is you are to a bowling ball as small children are to pins. I say they get what they deserve! Little turds should pay attention when they're at the bottom of the hill!

Now Lindsey and Derek are here & we're watching So I Married an Axe Murderer. Good times!

FIRE BAD!!!!

This is me and my nephew, Adam. Adam is clinging to me (and later my mom) out of fear of the flames on the hibachi grill at the restaurant. I find this hilarious considering his dad burned our house down when we were kids.

Prancing triumphantly down memory lane...

Hello kids. No "daily" picture today because I'm doing my annual YEAR IN PICTURES.

These are my favorite pictures that I've either taken or had taken over the past year, the story behind the pictures was not taken into consideration, I'm just going by the pics themselves.

Abcess Schmabcess!!

Guess who got a root canal today? Go on.... guess...


Give up? It was me!!

Woot!

"James! Where have you been!?!?! It's been almost a week!!"

Shut the hell up, Internet. I'm on vacation so you're lucky I'm posting anything at all!!

This was taken at the home of my mother from another mother, Shmoozy Suzy the Floozy. As is our wont on Christmas, we exchanged presents at her place & used her as a hotel service so we wouldn't have to drive home at 1 in the morning. It was quite fun.

This has been a good Christmas time. I got a fake sword, book about the cold (rather obscure, I know) some balls made into funny faces, a backwards clock, and several other things that I can't remember right now. We also took yet another group picture, which I have made into a compilation below.



We are awesome, aren't we?